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I am hungry for wisdom from others regarding managing life’s midpoint hurdles, such as deep inner questions, fading relevance, developing a neck like a Salvador Dalí clock plus a fresh interest for A Place in the Sun. Lately, I came across Jamie Oliver’s words about hitting fifty during a chat: “To thrive in life’s later stages, you must cut out distractions,” he explained. “Spend time with positive individuals. I steer clear of downbeat types – ‘energy vampires’ – and am learning to decline more often.”

My first thought was: isn’t this contradictory about evading pessimists and honing one’s rejection skills? Might that suggest he must escape his own nature? I get it – such remarks define us negative types, and yes, I’m one of them. However, among our group, we favor the term “energy drainer”. Refrain from using “downer” or “spoil-sport” – these comparisons to everyday gear are insulting; we possess sentiments (though often pessimistic). In a bind, I might tolerate “melancholy luxury blanket”.

It’s possible you’re also a member. Do you tend to be the event’s realist rather than its cheerleader? Does your thorough reply to casual greetings make people step back nervously? Upon hearing “exciting” ideas, do you make a face as if you’ve tasted something vile? Do you strongly identify with Eeyore; has a psychic ever told you your aura is grey?

If this describes you, you’re in our ranks, and that’s acceptable. Although modern wisdom pushes folks to discard “sapping” companions, I contend we bring substantial worth. It’s likely an energy vampire would have expressed doubts – or shown a grimace – upon hearing about the planned book with a First Nations lead done without input, possibly avoiding much trouble, distress, and disrespect. Such critical insights aren’t typical from “positive” friends.